Of Psychos and Sea Serpents
by Red Witch
Summary: Scott and some other X-Men are forced to go to a 'New Age Therapy Camp' along with some of the Misfits. Meanwhile Bazooka takes Jamie fishing. Meet lake monsters, insane camp facilitators and a new group of mutants in this completed fic!
1. Camp is Fun For Everyone!

**I don't own an X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters! Sorry! Well here's a strange fun fic that I had in my head that needed to get out. Yes another camp story but with a twist. (As if there were any other kind!) **

**Of Psychos and Sea Serpents**

**Chapter 1. : Camp is Fun for Everyone:**

"What a day," Tabitha grumbled. "First we have to take that stupid psychiatry class and now this!" She pointed to the mayhem the Misfits were making. They were splashing around in the pool happily and dousing everyone in sight with super soaker water guns. 

"YEEEEHAAAAAAAAA!" Pietro shouted at the top of his lungs, squirting Rogue and Remy with his water pistol. They were chasing him around as well with Remy using his powers to blow objects up at him. 

"You know the Danger Room is getting to be the most relaxing part of my day," Scott muttered. "Do you guys have to be this nuts whenever you come over?" 

"Actually I think they're a bit more hyper today than usual," Jean commented as Pietro made another pass and attacked Ray this time. 

"Well we're trying to enjoy ourselves before this weekend," Lance grumbled.

"Why what's this weekend?" Kurt asked.

"I will be forced to spend the weekend with my brother, Lance, Xi and Fred," Wanda groaned. "Another one of Psyche-Out's great ideas!" 

"We're going to spend a weekend connecting with our inner selves and developing a more positive self image," Fred told them. 

"Translation: We are going to Psycho Camp," Lance grumbled. 

"Psycho Camp?" Tabitha asked.

"Yeah it's where they send all the nuts and lunatics and try to de-stress them before they blow stuff up," Wanda grumbled. "What fun. This time they decided to do a teen version of it." 

"How come you two aren't going?" Kurt asked Todd and Althea. 

"Well technically Toad is a lunatic, not psychotic," Fred told them. "He's more a happy go lucky nuts than a dangerous nut."

"And Althea?" Kurt asked.

"I gotta thank my dad for this one," Althea said. "Thanks to him all Delgatos have a lifetime ban from the camp. Don't ask." 

"SHIPWRECK GET OUT OF MY GARDEN NOW!" Storm shouted. This was followed by a crash of thunder and lightning and a loud yelp. 

"Something tells me I don't want to know anyway," Scott shook his head.

************************************************************************

Later that night after the Misfits had gone home, most of the X-Men were lounging in the common room when Xavier and Hank walked in. Jamie followed them carrying a sleeping bag. "Thanks Mr. McCoy for loaning me your sleeping bag! I can't wait to go!"

"Go where?" Jean asked.

"I'm going camping!" Jamie said excitedly. 

"I thought you would have gotten enough of it after our last trip?" Rogue asked.

"Why it was fun?" Jamie asked.

"You have a very strange idea of fun kid," Ray said. "Who's going to take the squirt?"

"Bazooka," Hank told him. 

"Bazooka's taking Multiple on a camping trip?" Scott asked.

"It's sort of like a 'Big Brother' type of deal," Hank explained. "Both Charles and Hawk think that it would be beneficial for Jamie to have a human role model. And for Bazooka to have someone his own mental age to play with." 

"Well that's nice," Kitty said.

"Yeah and the rest of us can have a nice long weekend working on this new Danger Room scenario I cooked up," Scott told them.

"That's not so nice," Kitty made a face. 

"Actually Scott I think it might be more beneficial for you if you took this weekend off from the Danger Room," Xavier said. 

"What do you mean?" Scott asked. 

"Well…" Xavier looked at Hank. "Scott you've been under a lot of pressure lately as leader of the team. We just think you need a break from it for a while." 

"Why?" Scott asked. "I mean I've not let you down in some way have I?"

"Of course not," Xavier said. "In fact it's just the opposite." 

"Do you remember those tests we took today in Basic Psychology class?" Hank asked.

"Yeah," Scott looked at him. 

"Well they show that you're a bit too…focused lately," Hank said politely.

"Oh for crying out loud if you won't say it I will," Rogue groaned. "Scott you're even more uptight than usual lately! In fact you're driving us nuts!" 

"I'm just trying to make sure we're prepared for anything," Scott defended. "We have to be with those Misfits running amok."

"The Misfits weren't the ones who woke us up yesterday at five am for a surprise fire drill!" Rogue snapped.

"Well we have to have them," Scott said. "It's required by state law that all…"

"Okay Scott I think this is exactly what I was talking about," Xavier groaned. "I'm supposed to worry about things like that. Not you."

"Scott we're all worried about you," Jean said. "The test was just a way to make sure that…"

"Hold it!" Scott held his hand up. "You all knew about this test?"

"Yeah well the rest of us took it for fun," Kurt said. "But dude, you really need to unwind."

"That's why we think it would be beneficial for you to go to a new age retreat specially designed for teens this weekend," Xavier handed Scott a brochure. 

"Ha!" Ray snickered.

"You're going too Ray," Hank told him.

"Oh man!" Ray grumbled. "This is about me frying the lamp in the library isn't it?" 

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Scott shouted. "THIS IS PSYCHO CAMP! WHY AM I GOING TO PSYCHO CAMP?" 

"It is not Psycho Camp," Xavier sighed.

"Yeah right!" Scott snapped. "We just talked to Lance and the others. We know what it means. And of course that means we're gonna hang out with the Misfits as well. Great! So much for a fun weekend!"

"Scott the fact that you consider the Danger Room fun is a sure sign that you need a break," Forge told him.

"I still don't understand why I have to go!" Scott said. "Okay Berzerker I can understand. But why me? I don't need it!" 

"What do you mean you understand if **I** go?" Ray snapped. 

"Do you want the short list or the long?" Rogue asked. 

"How come **she's** not going?" Ray pointed to Rogue. "If anybody needs to go to Psycho Camp…" 

"Oh thanks a lot!" Rogue said hotly.

"Actually Rogue is quite well adjusted considering her powers," Hank told him. 

"Not to mention all the nuts I have to live with," Rogue said. 

"Well what about Boom Boom?" Ray pointed his thumb at her. "You can't tell me **she's **more sane than I am?" 

"WHAT?" Tabitha growled. "And what's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means your freaking nuts that's what it means!" Ray snapped. 

"That's it!" Tabitha started to create an energy bomb. She began to chase Ray into the other room. Soon there were the sounds of explosions and arguing. 

"Great there goes another paint job," Hank sighed. 

"Then again maybe sending Tabitha as well may not be such a bad idea," Xavier sighed. 

"Oh goody," Scott groaned. "It's gonna be another fun weekend in Hell." 

"Don't worry Scott," Jean put her hand on his shoulder. "I've decided that I'm going too. It won't be that bad." 

"You're **volunteering** for this?" Rogue asked. "Why?" 

"Isn't it obvious? To keep Scott company in the woods," Bobby snickered. 

"No I'm not!" Jean said hotly.

"Well thanks a lot," Scott grumbled. 

"I didn't mean it like that," Jean said. "I've just been feeling a little stressed lately and with my powers evolving I think it would be a good opportunity to try something new." 

"Oh yeah a weekend with the Misfits that's really going to relieve your stress," Scott grumbled. "Are you sure I can't spend the weekend in the Danger Room instead Professor? Please?" 

"You're going Scott," Hank told him. "Case closed! Don't worry, it won't be that bad!" 

"You guys always say that," Scott folded his arms. "And every time some kind of disaster strikes!" 

"That won't happen," Xavier told him.

"How much you wanna bet?" Scott grumbled. 


	2. Ride of Your Life

**Ride of Your Life**

"Okay everybody on the bus!" Bazooka shouted. They were outside the institute with a white school bus waiting outside. 

"Why are we taking a bus?" Wanda grumbled. "Can't we just use the teleporter?"

"Well in the first place we're trying to keep the knowledge of a working teleporter from the public as much as possible," Shipwreck told her. "Second Trinity is going to do some overhauls on it later and third well…"

"A little bus ride is going to do you guys some good," Bazooka said. "It will promote some fellowship and bonding."

"And if you believe that I have a bridge in Brooklyn you can buy for a few hundred bucks," Althea quipped. "Oh I am almost sorry I am going to miss this. Almost." 

"It's only a couple of hours away anyway," Bazooka said. "And it's a nice ride. You get to see nature." 

"We're gonna see blood if Lance and Scott are gonna be trapped in the same space for a few hours," Pietro snickered. 

"Forget those two," Fred pointed. "My money's on that couple!"

"Just stay away from me you loser!" Tabitha snapped as she toted her bag onto the bus.

"Gladly!" Ray snapped. "I swear I don't know why I ever dated you!" 

"I can think of two reasons," Pietro snickered.

"You wanna time bomb where the sun don't shine Speedy?" Tabitha growled. 

"Now that's enough!" Xavier reprimanded. "Now remember I want all of you to put some effort into this. And I'd like you not to use your powers during this trip. Not everyone at the camp knows that you're mutants. There will probably be some other students as well on this trip. Let them get to know the people you are first."

"And if that doesn't convince them that they're loony tunes their powers will," Althea quipped.

"I am so glad I am normal," Rogue grinned. "Hey where's Scott?"

"Hank and Logan are getting him," Jean sighed. "He's still being a bit…reluctant."

"I'M BEING FRAMED!" Scott screamed as Hank and Logan dragged him to the bus with his bag. "I'M TELLING YOU THIS IS SOME KIND OF MISTAKE! I DON'T NEED TO GO TO PSYCHO CAMP! I'M NOT CRAZY! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?" 

"Scott," Jean groaned as she closed her eyes and put her hand to her forehead. "Will you please calm down?" 

"Like I always said," Todd shook his head. "It's always the cool collected types that snap first." 

"Look I don't need to go to this!" Scott pleaded. "Tabitha and Ray are the ones who need help! And the Misfits are far gone! There is no way that I'm like them!" 

"What was that?" Ray snapped. 

"What do you mean about needing help?" Tabitha snapped. "You're gonna need help if you…"

"Oh this is gonna be such a fun weekend," Wanda rolled her eyes. 

"I don't know," Lance grinned. "I'm starting to feel saner already."

"Scott shut up and get on the bus!" Logan tossed him in, then threw his bag in as well. "The rest of you get in there!"

"Have a good time at camp kids," Ororo waved.

"Yeah try not to burn the place down will ya?" Shipwreck asked. 

"All aboard!" Bazooka said cheerfully as he started the bus. It tore down the driveway and went through the gates. Unfortunately they weren't all the way open so naturally the bus broke them wide open. 

"Why did we let Bazooka drive the bus?" Scott moaned as he held on for dear life.

"Because he volunteered," Lance told him. "I don't know why you're complaining. Compared to Kitty and Pietro his driving ain't so bad."

"Hey watch where you're going!" Bazooka honked his horn loudly. "Clear the way!" He swerved around a few cars. 

"We're gonna die," Scott groaned. 

"How about we do some of that bonding stuff to pass the time?" Fred asked. "This way we can foster some comey-radery and…"

"That's camaraderie Blob!" Pietro rolled his eyes. "You've been reading those psychiatry books again haven't you?"

"Yeah they're fun!" Fred nodded excitedly. "I've been looking up mental problems and trying to match them to the people I know!"

"Well we all know Summers has dorkitis," Lance snickered.

"Yeah real mature Alvers," Scott snorted. "I do not belong with you people! There is no way I have any problems compared to psychos like you!" 

"Psychos?" Ray snapped. "We are not psychos!"

"That is a matter of opinion," Tabitha folded her arms. 

"Actually Summers you do have a problem with repression," Fred told him. "This is due to a combination of your powers and your role within the X-Men. As the 'Leader' you feel the constant responsibility of the welfare of your teammates as well as their expectations of you."

Lance looked at Scott. "Doesn't it drive you crazy when he talks like that?"

Fred continued, "In order to make sure that things go smoothly, you hide your fears and insecurities under a façade of coolness and calmness."

"Amazing," Ray blinked.

"Yeah," Tabitha added. "The Blob actually used the word façade in a sentence." 

"I told you reading those psychiatry books helps with one's vocabulary," Xi remarked. 

"These feelings of insecurity are building up more and more," Fred went on. "This repressed insecurity manifests itself in unhealthy ways, such as not trusting members outside your group. In fact this can lead to intense distrust and conflict with others."

"Wow," Tabitha blinked. "You got Scooter dead on."

"He does not!" Scott snapped. "He's making this up!"

"I dunno Shades sounds pretty accurate to me," Pietro grinned. 

"Not surprisingly these insecurities also affect your love life," Fred went on. "It makes it more difficult to express yourself and…"

"SHUT UP BLOB OR I'LL BLAST YOU RIGHT OUT OF THIS BUS!" Scott grabbed his shades threateningly. 

"Oooh!" Pietro cackled. "Touched a nerve didn't he?" 

"Okay you don't want to talk about it, fine! But don't come crying to me when you have a mental breakdown at thirty or something," Fred huffed.

"I so do not belong here!" Scott groaned.

"Will you guys stop picking on Scott?" Jean snapped.

"Fine we've finished anyway on telling Scott what's wrong with him," Pietro said. "Now we'll go on to what's wrong with you."

"For example your denial issues," Fred began.

"I do not have any denial issues!" Jean said hotly.

To this nearly everyone on the bus laughed. "Yeah right!" Wanda laughed. 

"Yeah Miss Perfect who do you think you're fooling?" Tabitha asked.

"Herself, that's the problem," Fred said. 

"Yeah you keep saying that you're normal when in fact that's the last thing you are!" Lance said. 

"Despite my powers I am normal!" Jean shouted. 

"Jean you spend a lot of your time running around in spandex looking for a fight," Lance remarked. "How normal is that?" 

"Yes Jean listen to the little freak inside of you," Fred told her. 

"If I did you'd all be dead by now," Jean grumbled under her breath. 

"And you **volunteered **to come on this trip?" Scott asked her.

"Bazooka are we there yet?" Jean groaned. 

"It'll be an hour or so," Bazooka told her. Then he honked his horn. "Hey! If you don't like the way I drive get off the sidewalk!" 

"Now repeat after me Jean," Fred said. "I am weird and I am proud of it."

"Oh god!" Jean groaned. 

"Hey this ride is better than I thought it would be," Wanda snickered. 

"Yeah you gotta love the entertainment," Pietro snickered. 

"Oh yeah well what about your issues?" Jean snapped. "How about that father complex you guys have?"

"Well duh," Pietro rolled his eyes. "With Magneto as a parent who **wouldn't** have issues? Besides we're beyond the denial stage, unlike you guys." 

"Yes Jean," Fred grinned. "Repeat after me, Weird is good. Weird is wonderful." 

"This is not my life," Scott put his head in his hands. "This is not my life." 

A few hours later…

_"We're weird, weird, weird, weird, weird…" _Nearly everyone on the bus sang happily. Except of course for two individuals. 

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Jean screamed putting her hands over her ears.

"Well if I didn't need a psychiatrist before this trip I certainly need one now!" Scott groaned. 

"Are you sure you know where we're going?" Jean asked Bazooka. 

"It's a shortcut," Bazooka told her. 

"Didn't we pass that farm an hour ago?" Lance asked.

"Yeah. Hey Fred what are those animals called again?" Xi pointed.

"Those are horses, Xi," Pietro told him.

"Oh yes," Xi nodded.

"Say hi to the horsies!" Fred waved at them. "Hello horsies!"

"They can't hear you Blob!" Lance groaned. "We're going too fast!"

"Not by my standards," Pietro said. "Hey let's sing another song!"

"Yeah!" Xi and Fred said excitedly.

"No!" Scott groaned. 

"How about Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy?" Fred suggested.

"I will be happy and jump for joy if you **don't **sing that stupid song!" Scott told him.

"I got a better song anyway," Pietro grinned. "It's a Jimmy Buffett song."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Scott sighed. 

"Oh wait I know what song you're talking about!" Fred said happily. "The one Shipwreck sang last week when we caught him dancing in his room!"

"Oh yeah," Pietro grinned.

The Misfits grinned at each other and started to sing. _"Fruitcakes in the kitchen! Fruitcakes on the street! Strutting naked through the crosswalk in the middle of the week! Half-baked cookies in the oven, half-baked people on the bus! There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every one of us!" _

**"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!" **Scott shouted. 

An hour later…

"Hey look it's the horses again!" Xi waved to the horses.

"And a pair of ladies," Ray said. He was playing cards with Tabitha, Lance, Pietro and Jamie.

"Not so fast," Jamie stopped him. "Full house! Read 'em and weep!" 

"Aw man!" Ray groaned. "That's the fifth hand he's won in a row!"

"Let me guess, Gambit's been giving you lessons," Tabitha asked. "Am I right?" 

"We are never going to get off this bus," Scott groaned. 

"Don't worry we'll be there soon," Bazooka said.

"That's what you said three hours and five rest stops ago!" Scott balked.

"I can't help it! I drank a Big Gulp before we left!" Bazooka said. "Sue me! But this time I've got it right! I know what we did wrong before! We'll just make a turn here!" 

"Bazooka are you crazy? We're going right into the woods!" Scott screamed. 

"It's a shortcut!" Bazooka told them as branches flew by.

"There's not even a bike path here!" Jean yelled.

"There is now," Pietro quipped. "It leads right to that cliff."

"**CLIFF?**" Lance sat up in his seat. 

"Uh oh," Bazooka gulped. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!" Everyone on the bus screamed as the bus went over the cliff. Fortunately Jean used her powers to levitate the bus to the other side. 

"If ever there was an argument for having seat belts on school busses…" Ray groaned as he lay back in his seat. 

"You guys really need to consider losing some weight!" Jean groaned as she put her hand to her head.

"You first," Pietro quipped. 

"One more word out of you Maximoff and I'm gonna…" Jean shouted.

"Looks like I'm not the only one around here who needs to work on my anger management," Wanda snickered. 

"Yeah and Bazooka needs to work on his driving!" Scott yelled. "Watch out for the trees!" He went to the front and stuck his head out an open window. He used his optic beams to knock some tree limbs out of the way while Lance used his powers to clear the path before them. 

"So much for the not using our powers rule," Wanda said. 

"Yeah we didn't even make it to the camp this time," Xi remarked. 

"But it worked!" Fred pointed. "There's the camp!" Sure enough the campsite loomed ahead. Of course by now the school bus was covered in mud and branches and severely dented. 

"We're here!" Bazooka said cheerfully as the engine sputtered his last.

"Barely," Scott moaned. 


	3. Settling In

**Settling In**

"Whispering Pines Wellness Retreat for Teens," Scott read the sign as they left the bus. "Welcome Gifted Students."

"They must mean us," Fred said.

"No you think?" Pietro looked at him. "Hey look at this!" He read a nearby billboard with flyers and posters on it. "Here are some of the seminars they offer here: Yoga for You, Karma Can Be Cool, Pint Sized Aromatherapy, and get this…Fishing for Intentions at the Bridge of Imagination." 

"You're kidding?" Scott asked. 

"Read it for yourself," Pietro said.

"Celestial Hula Hoop Aerobics?" Scott read one of the signs.

"Hey I like that class," Fred grinned. 

"Oh man this is definitely not like Camp Ironback at all," Lance groaned. 

"And that is definitely not a drill instructor," Pietro pointed at the figure greeting them. 

"Hell-oooooo campers!" A fat man with long blond hair and bright clothes greeted them. "I'm Harvey Laffruff, your camp facilitator!" 

"Hi Harvey!" Bazooka waved. "Good to see you again."

"You know this guy?" Scott asked. 

"Yeah Harvey was involved with those giant vegetables that took over Chicago," Bazooka said. 

"What did you just say?" Scott asked with a very puzzled look on his face. 

"You don't wanna know," Ray sighed. 

"It's kind of a long story," Harvey said. "Remind me to tell you later. So these are the students you've told me about. Welcome! Welcome one and all to an exciting journey of self discovery!"

"I can't wait," Pietro smiled. "Can you Summers?" Scott groaned in response. 

"And to think I get to miss out on all this," Jamie snickered.

"I'm taking the kid camping," Bazooka told Harvey. 

"Well maybe you'll come next year," Harvey said. "This is my first year working with genetically enabled young people. Oh I am so excited!"

"Glad somebody is," Lance muttered under his breath. 

"You're not afraid of mutants?" Ray asked. 

"Young man I of all people know what it's like to be ostracized because of one's looks or abilities. In high school they used to laugh at me because I was captain of the gardening team instead of a traditional sport. Besides, once you've been attacked by your own tomato plants very little will freak you out again," Harvey nodded. "Besides this lake has its very own lake monster."

"Cool!" Jamie said.

"Monster?" Tabitha asked. 

"Yup the fabled Lake Howicha Monster. Well no one's actually taken a picture of it but it has been rumored to live around here," Harvey nodded. "Well it's time we all get you settled in the bunkhouses and then you can meet your camp mates! And then we will start our lessons of harnessing the power within!" 

"Yeah this is gonna be such fun," Lance drawled as they went off with him.

"Hey is it me or is that guy skipping?" Pietro whispered as he indicated Harvey's walk. 

"I believe he is," Xi nodded.

"I'm starting to miss Camp Ironback," Scott groaned. 

************************************************************************

"Oh boy look at all the tadpoles!" Jamie said excitedly as he looked into the pond. 

"Yeah Toad would love it here," Bazooka said. They had just finished pitching their tents. "Now let's go fishing!"

"Yeah!" Jamie said. He cast his line. "You think we'll get anything?"

"I dunno," Bazooka said. "But it could be a while before…"

"I got something!" Jamie yelled excitedly as he felt a tug on his line.

"Already?" Bazooka blinked. He helped Jamie pull on the line. "Wow it's a big one!"

However, what was on the other end of Jamie's line was not a fish. A huge green scaly head popped out of the water. "Muhrrrr?" It blinked its huge blue eyes at them. 

"A real big one," Jamie said. 

"Oh my…." Bazooka blinked as the huge creature looked at him. 

**Okay obviously I made up the name of the lake but Harvey Laffruff isn't mine! Yes he was in a GI Joe episode where those giant vegetables grew! I kind of like him. He's a fun character. Next, while Bazooka and Jamie get to know the local lake monster, The X-Men and Misfits meet their fellow campers! Boy are they in for a surprise! **


	4. Meet Your Neighbors

**Meet Your Neighbors**

"Wow!" Jamie gasped. "A real sea serpent. Well a lake serpent anyway." 

The creature gave out a happy squeal as Jamie petted his head. "Sure is friendly," Bazooka grinned.

"So there really is a Lake Howicha monster," Jamie said. "Hi there Howie!"

"Howie?" 

"Well he needs a name," Jamie said. "Short for the lake name." 

"You have a point," Bazooka nodded. "Wonder where he came from?" 

"He could be a sea serpent that got lost or something," Jamie suggested. "Then decided to hang around here." Howie gave a squeal of affirmation. "Hey I was right!"

"But why would he show himself to us?" Bazooka asked. 

"Maybe he sensed I was a mutant or something," Jamie shrugged. "Hey Howie, wanna play?" 

Howie snorted with excitement as Jamie picked up a stick and threw it. Howie swam after it and fetched it back. "Cool!" Bazooka said. 

"Yeah this is gonna be a great trip!" Jamie said as he threw the stick again. "I wonder if the others are having as much fun as we are?" 

************************************************************************

"Wanda let go of me!" Pietro squealed as he tried to escape the headlock he was in.

"Not until you apologize for eating my candy bar!" Wanda snapped.

"Wanda will you give it a rest already?" Lance groaned. "You can always kill him later when we get home. There's more tools to do it with."

"Yeah but here there are more places to hide the body," Wanda told him. "APOLOGIZE!"

"NO! OWWWWWWWW!" Pietro whined. He managed to escape. "I'm telling!" 

"Then tell 'em about this!" Tabitha made a tiny time bomb and stuck it down Pietro's pants. Of course the bomb went off exposing his underwear. "TABBY!" 

"Ha!" Ray laughed. 

"What's that in your pocket Ray?" Xi asked as he took out a candy bar wrapper.

"I don't know how that got in there I swear!" Ray shouted in horror as Wanda and Pietro glared at him. Both chased him around wildly. 

"Well people it's a beautiful day at the Mutant Destruction Derby," Lance quipped. "And I see the Maximoff twins are off to a fine start. With me is Fred 'The Blob' Dukes. Blob old buddy, tell us more about this dynamic duo."

"Well Lance," Fred grinned getting into the spirit of things. "The Maximoffs took the gold last year in the Mutant Olympics with their synchronized explosions technique. Oh look at that! That's gotta hurt!" 

"I do not belong with these people," Scott moaned. "I do not belong with these people." 

"Knock it off! Will you guys at least try to keep a low profile?" Jean groaned. "Or at least not burn down the camp?" 

"I just realized something," Scott said. "They might take one look at Xi and figure out that the rest of us are mutants."

"So?" Pietro asked. "The people who run this camp know that anyway. What's the difference if everyone here knows?"

"Yeah but…" Jean started.

"If you are referring to the way people would treat me because of the way I look I am beyond it," Xi told them. "After all, Cobra considered me nothing more than a weapon. Believe me an experience like that will desensitize you quickly to any fears of how people will treat you." 

"Yeah guys the point of this camp is to explore your inner self and to grow," Fred told them. "And the first step is to accept your mutantcy."

"Oh no…" Lance rolled his eyes. "Here we go again." 

"You must become one with your inner freak," Fred spoke in an eerily calm tone. "Listen to your inner weirdo. Have nice conversations with him or her. Take your inner maniac out to a nice lunch…"

"You people are out to lunch if you ask me," An unfamiliar voice said. 

They saw that they were not alone. There was another group of teens watching them. They were all dressed in either preppy Armani or other well made brand name clothes. "Well if it isn't our fellow campers," A tall black haired young woman of 18 said haughtily. "And people say we're high strung." 

"Oh good I see you're here as well," Harvey nodded as he walked up to them. "Everyone these are students from the Massachusetts Academy, a very well known and respected prep school." 

"Gee I never would have guessed," Lance drawled.

"Why don't you all get acquainted?" Harvey asked. He then looked over their shoulders. "Mr. Pendleton! You know there's no alcohol allowed on the premises! And put your pants back on!" He ran after the inebriated counselor.

"Hello there," Jean took the initiative. "I'm Jean Grey. This is Scott Summers, Ray Crisp and Tabitha Smith from the Xavier Institute. Over there is Lance Alvers, Xi, Pietro and Wanda Maximoff and Fred Dukes."

"Nice to meet you," Scott held out his hand but no one took it. 

"Charmed I'm sure," A tall teenage 16 year old boy with brownish blond short hair remarked. He was wearing an Armani tennis outfit. 

"Now Jack let's be polite," A seventeen year old boy with brown hair and a cultured accent reprimanded. "My friends tend to be a bit on the stuffy side. Permit me to do the introductions. I am Manuel Alfonso Roderigo de la Rocha. This over here is Jack Sinclair. This lovely lady is Monet St. Croix. And this fellow here," He indicated a very tall and very muscular 17 year old boy. "Is Percival DeHammond."

"Percival?" Fred raised an eyebrow.

"Call me Beef and no one gets hurt!" The burly teenager growled. 

"I take it that the other rag tags over here belong to the army?" Jack indicated the Misfits with a sneer. 

"You got a problem with mutants pal?" Lance growled. 

"Actually mutants don't really bother us," Jack grinned. "In general. I'm more offended by your horrendous taste in wardrobe. Jeans with holes in them?" He indicated Lance's attire. "How lower class can you get?"

"Not that the rest of them dress that much better," Beef snorted. 

"Well normally we do dress better but since we're slumming today…" Pietro began. 

"Uh Pietro that's enough," Jean interrupted. "Look the point of this camp is to work on building our inner selves."

"Well if your outer selves are any indication…" Jack began.

"That's enough gentlemen," Manuel reprimanded. "The lady is right. And very perceptive." 

"You know you don't seem so bad for a person who is consorting with mutants of a lesser standard," Monet remarked. 

"What do you mean by that?" Jean asked.

"Face it, the way I see it there are two types of mutations," Monet casually glanced over her fingernails. "Those that are advanced and have true potential and then there are those…" She looked over at the Misfits. "Genetic throwbacks and mistakes." 

"Oh really?" Lance folded his arms. 

"I'd be careful of the mutants I'd consort with," Monet sneered. "You might end up poisoning your own DNA."

"It doesn't work like that," Jean started to fume.

"It does if you breed with them," She tilted her head at Scott. "If a mutant can't control his own powers then he might pass on that same defect to his offspring. Just a word of warning."

"Oh yeah?" Jean growled. "Well here's a word of warning for you sister…" 

"Um I think we must be going now," Manuel quickly put a warning hand on Monet. "See you later," He ushered his friends away.

"Why that…that…" Jean snapped.

"I believe the word you are searching for begins with a b and rhymes with witch," Tabitha said. 

"Well isn't she a lovely person?" Pietro quipped. "I can tell we're all going to be such good friends!" 

"Yeah I thought Jean was a snob queen," Lance remarked. 

"Hey!" Jean snapped.

"The Snob Queen is dead," Fred grinned. "Long live the Snob Queen!" 

"I am not a snob queen!" Jean snapped.

"Not compared to Miss Moneybags over there," Tabitha indicated. 

"Yeah and those other males were not exactly polite," Xi nodded. 

"I thought people like that only existed in frat house movies," Ray said. 

"Well I am willing to go 'Animal House' on them if you know what I mean," Fred made a fist.

"Not really," Xi remarked. 

"Nobody is going to fight anybody," Scott said.

"Don't bet on it," Jean snapped. 

"Why was I sent here?" Scott moaned as he looked upwards. "Will somebody please answer that?" 

"So we can drive you crazy duh," Pietro said.

"Correction," Xi remarked. "Make him crazier. He would not be here if he didn't already have problems."

"I DO NOT HAVE PROBLEMS!" Scott shouted.

"Now Summers," Lance grinned. "Don't be so modest. For starters there's those denial issues you need to work on." 

"I am not in denial!" Scott snapped. 

"Yes you are," Lance grinned.

"No I'm not!" 

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!" 

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not! Not! Not!"

"Are too, too, too!"

"Okay I don't feel like watching this anymore," Pietro waved as Scott and Lance went at it. "I'm not really in the mood for such sophisticated verbal banter anyway." 

"Well then take a look at this," Wanda pointed with her thumb. "Jean's going into meltdown."

"Oh that's always fun," Pietro grinned.

Jean was fuming. "Why that stuck up…Who does she think she is? I swear if she sticks her obviously plastic surgeoned nose into my business…"

"There, there Jean," Fred patted her on the back. "Let all that rage out. Let's take deep cleansing breaths now shall we?"

"DON'T PATRONIZE ME YOU NUT!" Jean snapped. 

"You really have serious anger issues you know that?" Fred told her. 

Xi watched them. "And to think out of all of you I'm the one considered the most psychotic," He mentioned to Ray.

************************************************************************

"What do you think you idiots were doing?" Manuel snapped. "Were you purposely goading them into a fight? We're supposed to keep a low profile! You have to learn to control yourselves!"

"You're right Empath," Monet sighed. "I just can't believe we're stuck with those idiots for the entire weekend! And at this dump as well. They don't even have room service!" 

"Forget the room service," Jack told her. "It's hanging around with inferior mutants I can't stand!" 

"Yeah did you see that ugly little green throwback?" Beef snorted. "Can't believe a freak like that has the guts to show his face in the open!" 

"Yeah but that one's a genetically engineered mutant," Jack told him. "True it's not in the same class as us, but at least it has a purpose. Or at least it had a purpose until those Misfits warped what little there was of its mind. Most of those others well…I just thank god that that Toad creature and his ill-bred mermaid girlfriend didn't show up. Not to mention that blue demon that hangs around them." 

"I agree," Manuel sniffed. He looked in the direction of Beef and Jack. "There is already a pair of low class fools on the premises." 

"Listen you Spanish omelet…" Beef snarled. 

"For the last time I'm Portuguese you oversized oaf!" Manuel snapped. "I know it's hard to keep facts like that in your tiny little mind but do try will you?" 

"Oh yeah?" Beef growled and made a fist. "Well let's see if you'll be able to remember your own name once I'm through with you!" 

"Any time you muscular moron!" Manuel snapped. 

"Now who needs to learn to control himself?" Jack laughed. 

"All right listen up you idiots!" Monet snapped. "Don't forget we have work to do! Roulette and Tarot are with Jetstream scouting for that possible mutant."

"If it is a mutant," Jack snickered. "Could be just a myth. That lake monster sighting was probably invented by the locals in order to attract tourists."

"Possibly," Monet sighed. "Wouldn't surprise me. However we can't take any chances. That's probably the real reason why the X-Men and Misfits are here too." 

"Those losers?" Beef sneered. "Even if the full team was here we can take them." 

"Of course we can," Monet nodded. "We're Hellions. We are the ultimate team of mutants. For now just watch them. If they get in our way."

"We eliminate them," Jack grinned as he made a fist and it started to spark. 

**Obviously Jack and Percival are made up names for Bevatron and Beef. Nobody knows what their real names were anyway. And I liked the idea of sticking Monet with the Hellions. She fits in with them anyway. **

Up next, while Bazooka and Jamie play with their new friend, the gang goes off to therapy for the day! But with this combination will any of them survive? 


	5. Getting In Touch With Your Inner Lunatic

**Getting in Touch With Your Inner Lunatic**

"Hello everyone and welcome to the first group therapy session of the day," Harvey smiled. "To the left of me is Mrs. Reki. She will be taking charge of this first session and assisting me with your spiritual growth." They were inside a well-lit cheery cabin filled with colorful mats, candles and crystals. 

"Oh brother," Scott muttered under his breath. 

"Okay the first thing we have to do is…" Harvey looked outside. "MR. PENDLETON! PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON RIGHT NOW AND TURN OFF THAT FLAMETHROWER!" He got up rapidly. "Excuse me kids. Please take over Mrs. Reki." He ran outside.

"I feel saner already," Scott quipped.

"MR. PENDLETON HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY? AND MR. SMITH IS NOT SADDAM HUSSEIN! HE'S NOT EVEN AN ARAB FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! HE'S A REPUBLICAN!" Harvey could be heard shouting outside. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'ALL THE MORE REASON TO TORCH HIM'?" 

"Okay everyone maybe we'd better hide our Young Republican Membership cards," Manuel gulped. 

"You think?" Jack looked at him. 

"Now let's all get in a friendship circle," Mrs. Reki smiled. She was a petite Chinese-American woman with long flowing hair and colorful clothes. "Let's all sit together in a wonderful show of love and fellowship!"

Of course none of the groups moved from their positions. "You have got to be kidding," Monet sniffed. "You really want us to associate with them?"

"The feeling's mutual sister!" Jean snapped.

"Now, now we must learn to be nice to each other," Mrs. Reki said happily. "I just know after this weekend we'll all be good friends!" 

"Yeah that'll happen," Lance rolled his eyes. 

"What drugs are you on?" Tabitha asked.

"Whatever they are I want some," Beef grumbled.

"Why am I not surprised?" Fred remarked. 

"I sense some tension here," Mrs. Reki observed. "How about this? Everyone shake hands with everyone else saying 'I like you'."

"You gotta be kidding me," Lance glared at Scott.

"For once I am in complete agreement with you," Scott glared at Lance. 

"Come on now don't be shy," She waved. "I'll start off. Hello there Fred. I like you!" She shook his hand.

"And I like you!" Fred gave her a huge bear hug. 

"Can't…breathe…" Mrs. Reki gasped. Fred let her go. "Okay…maybe…we'll just limit it to….handshakes…" 

"Fine," Fred shrugged. He turned to Pietro. "Pietro I like you!" 

"And I like you Freddy," Pietro shook his hand. "I like you sis."

"Well I can tolerate you for now," Wanda grudgingly shook it. 

"Good enough for me," Pietro said. "And I like you Xi."

"I like you too Pietro. I like you Wanda." 

"Well I like you too Xi and I like you Freddy. And I like you Lance," Wanda shook their hands.

"And I like you Wanda, Xi and Pietro and Freddy," Lance shook their hands. 

"And I like you Lance, Pietro, Wanda and Xi," Fred shook their hands again.

"And I like you Freddy, Lance, Wanda and Pietro," Xi shook their hands as well. 

"And I like you Freddy, Lance and Xi and Pietro I can put up with you," Wanda shook their hands again.

"And I like you too Wanda!" Pietro. "And I like you Lance. And I like you Freddy and Xi."

"And I like you Pietro," Fred remarked. "And I like you Xi."

"I like you too Freddy. And I like you Wanda."

"I like you Xi and Lance I like you too. And Pietro I like you better than I like strained peas."

"And I like you a lot better than a hangnail Wanda," Pietro grinned. "And I like you Xi and Fred and Lance." 

"And I like…" Lance began.

"OKAY!" Mrs. Reki raised her voice. "You all like each other. How about saying 'I like you' to someone else? Maybe someone in one of the other groups?"

"Why? We hate them!" Fred told her.

"Yeah what do you want us to do, lie?" Pietro asked. 

"And we're off…" Scott groaned. 

"You know he does have a point," Manuel admitted. "Why should we pretend to like each other when we hate each other's guts?" 

"Okay maybe we should try a different tactic," Mrs. Reki sighed. "I sense that there's some hostility in the room."

"No, really?" Scott said sarcastically. 

"Scott please," Jean said. "You're not taking this seriously."

"Well why are you picking on me?" Scott snapped as he pointed to the Misfits. "They're not exactly taking this seriously either!" 

"Yeah Scott but they're idiots," Ray said.

"You aren't exactly the brightest bulb on the wall either Pikachu Boy," Tabitha snapped. 

"DON'T CALL ME PIKACHU BOY!" Ray snapped. 

Jack snorted. "Pikachu Boy, that's a good one!" 

"Shut up!" Ray snapped at Jack. 

"Make me!" Jack snapped back. 

"All right! All right calm down everyone!" Mrs. Reki shouted. "No name calling! Please people! The point of this workshop is to learn to get to know each other."

"I already know more than I want to know about these lunatics!" Scott threw up his hands. "I am out of here!" 

"Scott calm down," Jean prevented him from leaving. "You have to learn to give this a chance. You have to learn to face yourself and your problems."

"I agree Jean," Mrs. Reki spoke. "Scott you seem to internalize your anger to the point where you can't handle it and it explodes. Everyone let's help Scott try to deal with his anger issues."

"I HAVE ANGER ISSUES?" Scott yelled. "What about these rejects over here?" 

"Hey at least we admit we have problems!" Lance spoke up.

"Yeah and me and Wanda are related to Magneto," Pietro said. "Who wouldn't have problems with anger with him as a parent?"

"Who's…" Mrs. Reki started to ask.

"Quite simply he's a mutant terrorist who wants to establish mutant superiority in the world by blowing up all the humans on the planet," Wanda sighed. "It's a long story." 

"Oh…" Mrs. Reki gulped. 

"Yeah and daddy dearest over there decided to do experiments on me as well," Lance grumbled. "Technically he's responsible for me destroying my last high school."

"What about all the other ones?" Scott asked.

"Oh yeah like you never accidentally destroyed a building before!" Lance snapped. "Give me a break!" 

"Oh dear…" Mrs. Reki blinked. 

"Well I was created in a lab as an assassin," Xi spoke up. "I was created so that when I get enraged it helps me kill my prey even better." 

"Oh my…" Mrs. Reki gulped. "Perhaps one of the Xavier students should give an example. Jean?" 

"Well I know that I do have a temper sometimes," Jean spoke. "But it's usually under control and I try not to let it control my actions."

"HA!" Scott scoffed.

"What do you mean by that?" Jean asked.

"I think he means that he disagrees with you," Xi remarked. 

"You're darn right I do!" Scott snapped. "And you say **I **have problems facing my problems?"

"Interesting," Mrs. Reki wrote something down. "Would you like to elaborate Scott?"

"Gladly," Scott said. "The other day I made one tiny suggestion on how she should do something in cooking class and the next thing I knew I had a pie thrown at my face!"

"Well you were being too critical!" Jean told him.

"If by being critical you mean that pies shouldn't have knives baked in them, then yes call me Mr. Picky!" Scott snapped at her. 

"Knives?" Mrs. Reki twitched. 

"I misplaced the knife! It was an accident!" Jean snapped. 

"It almost **was** an accident!" Scott told her. "Good thing I've learned to check my food before I eat it!"

"Now that is just your paranoia talking," Jean remarked.

"No in this case it's just common sense," Pietro remarked. "You're cooking is just as lethal as Kitty's."

"Who's Kitty?" Mrs. Reki asked.

"Lance's girlfriend," Xi told him. "Sort of."

"That's a whole other load of problems right there," Lance groaned. 

"We may have to spend another weekend here if we're gonna deal with his love life," Ray snickered.

"Hey at least I have a love life!" Lance snapped. "And I don't go running around with every skirt I see!"

"He does have a point Ray!" Tabitha glared at him.

"I never actually cheated on you and you know it!" Ray snapped at Tabitha. 

"Well you came pretty close to it!" Tabitha snapped. 

"That's still no reason to throw those stupid energy bombs at me and try to blow me up every chance you get!" Ray snapped.

"Oh yes it is!" Tabitha snapped as she started to create an energy bomb.

"TABITHA NO!" Jean shouted. "Put away the energy bomb! Put away the energy bomb!" 

"Too late," Tabitha held it up. 

"Get rid of it!" Pietro yelled. 

"Fine," Tabitha casually tossed it out the window where it exploded. Mrs. Reki's jaw dropped and she twitched again. 

"And our counselors thought we have anger issues?" Jack groaned to his teammates.

"Well it just proves that no matter how bad off you are, someone else has it worse," Beef said. "A lot worse." 

"Okay…" Mrs. Reki gulped. "You know there's a lot of tension in this room. Let's go get the celestial hula-hoops. That will help."

"The what?" Lance raised an eyebrow. 

Mrs. Reki passed out several large colorful hula-hoops. "They're filled with healing crystals," She explained. "By holding onto the sides you will release your negative energy."

"I do not believe this," Monet groaned.

"You have got to be kidding me," Scott groaned. 

"And to think Jean you **volunteered **for this!" Wanda said sarcastically. 

"Don't remind me," Jean rolled her eyes. 

************************************************************************

Meanwhile Bazooka and Multiple were having fun riding on Howie's back and swimming, unaware they were being observed. 

"Ladies I believe I have found the target," Jetstream grinned. 

**Next: More fun in therapy! **


	6. More Wholesome Camp Fun

**More Wholesome Camp Fun**

"All right class," Mrs. Reki held up the celestial hula-hoop. "Now breathe in, and exhale. Channel all that negative energy out of your body and let the crystals radiate the positive energy. Breathe in…and…WILL ALL OF YOU MISFITS STOP PLAYING WITH THEM?" 

The Misfits were currently twirling around with their hula-hoops. "Hey this is how these things are supposed to be used anyhow," Fred told her. He had an extra large one that was able to go around his waist. "I should know I was the hula-hoop champion for three years back home." 

"I could easily win the title," Pietro snickered as he effortlessly twirled the hoop around his waist. 

"You people are idiots!" Scott groaned.

"You're just jealous because you can't do it!" Lance taunted.

"I could to do it!" Scott snapped.

"Can not!" Lance snapped.

"Oh really?" Beef asked. "Prove it!"

"Fine! I will!" Scott started to use the hula-hoop.

"Look who's talking," Jack said. "You can't do it either Beef!"

"Oh yeah?" Beef snapped. "I can do it longer than you!" 

"You wish!" Jack started with his hula-hoop.

"Watch me!" Beef started with his as well.

"I am surrounded by idiots," Monet rubbed her temples. 

"Welcome to my world," Tabitha told her. 

"Stop it! Stop it! People please!" Mrs. Reki shouted. "These are instruments of healing and togetherness! They are not intended to be used in competition! Stop it! You are filling the area with negative vibes! Monet stop throwing yours against the wall! You're making dents in it!" 

After twenty minutes of pleading and begging she finally managed to get them to stop. It took another twenty to get them to sit in a circle. "Okay maybe we should try expressing ourselves in other ways," She sighed. "Poetry is a good way. Anyone want to start? Ray?" 

"Okay I got one," Ray sighed. "It's Called Why I am Glad I am no Longer Dating Tabitha. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom…kerpow! Splat!" 

"Uh very…visual," Mrs. Reki gulped. 

"Here's some poetry," Tabitha glared at Ray. "Violets are blue. Roses are red. Ray's a big jerk. I wish he was dead."

"Ha, ha ha," Ray said sarcastically. 

"Hey at least hers rhymed," Fred told him. 

"I have one," Pietro grinned. "It's a haiku. Its called Jean. Telepathic snob. Thinks she's better than everyone. Completely clueless."

"Bravo!" Fred and the other Misfits clapped. 

"What was that for?" Jean asked angrily.

"I felt like expressing myself," Pietro grinned. "You just happened to be my favorite target. Well one of them."

"Listen you jerk how would you like it if I expressed myself…?" Jean made a fist and started to shake it.

"NO! NO! THIS IS NOT WHAT I INTENDED!" Mrs. Reki shouted. "I did not intend for you to use these poems as put downs!"

"Why not? It's fun!" Pietro asked. "How about this one? Lance has no chance for romance with Kitty. It's really not pretty…" 

"I like this one better! There once was a jerk named Pietro," Lance snapped. 

"Who had an enormous ego," Jean continued. 

"So everyone locked him up in a crate and shipped him off to Mars!" Scott snapped.

"That doesn't rhyme," Xi remarked.

"I know but I love the ending!" Scott said. 

"What a bunch of morons," Manuel groaned. 

"Here's my poem," Jack snapped. "The X-Men are dolts. The Misfits are crass. Alvers is an idiot and Summers has a stick up his..."

"You want some of this?" Scott shot up and brandished his fist. 

"Hey Summers I got a great idea for an exercise in togetherness!" Lance snapped. "I say the two of us beat the stuffing out of these jerks!"

"Now that's an activity I think I can handle!" Scott agreed. 

"No! No!" Mrs. Reki shouted as Scott and Lance pounced on Jack. Beef and Manuel came to their teammate's defense. Of course Pietro, Xi and Ray also had to step into the fray as well. "THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO GET HEALTHY!" 

"So how are things going Mrs…." Harvey walked in and saw the chaos. "Oh my. EVERYONE CALM DOWN NOW! PLEASE! NO FIGHTING! WHY DON'T WE ALL JUST MEDITATE?"

"Good idea! I'm gonna go meditate at the nearest bar!" Mrs. Reki moaned as she left the room. 


	7. Defending Howie

**Defending Howie**

Meanwhile back at Jamie and Bazooka's campsite the three happy friends had no idea that their peaceful meal was going to be interrupted. "Here Howie, have another hot dog," Bazooka fed Howie a hot dog on a stick. He wolfed it down happily. 

"He likes it," Jamie grinned. 

"Everybody likes hot dogs," Bazooka said. 

"How sweet," A voice interrupted them. "NET CARD!" Suddenly a large net materialized and draped over Howie. They turned and saw a brown haired teenage girl wearing a purple and silver uniform standing before them. She had a deck of cards in her hands. 

"What's going on?" Jamie shouted. "What are you doing? Who are you?"

"Permit me to introduce myself," The girl smiled. "I am called Tarot. That is because my power permits me to solidify any figure and object on my special cards and use them for my own purposes. Let me give you another demonstration. ROPE CARD!" She held out a card and it shimmered. Suddenly a rope appeared and bound both Jamie and Bazooka together. 

"Hey!" Bazooka yelled.

"Let us go!" Jamie yelled. 

"So it's not a mutant after all," A blonde girl wearing a same purple and silver uniform joined them.

"No but we can still find a good use for it I'll bet," Tarot said. "Where's Jetstream, Roulette?" 

Right on cue a teenage dark skinned boy with curly black hair flew in just like Sam would. However his landing was much smoother than his as he nimbly landed on his feet. "Well I see you two have things wrapped up here."

"Yeah it's not really that much of a challenge," Tarot yawned. "A dumb animal, an immature mutant boy…and a lake serpent." 

"You fly just like Cannonball!" Bazooka gasped.

"Please," Jetstream sniffed. "Don't compare me to that redneck!" 

"You know about us?" Jamie asked.

"The Hellions know everything about all of you," Roulette crowed. "Both the X-Men and Misfits as well as GI Joe."

"Are you working with Magneto?" Bazooka asked.

"He wishes!" Tarot laughed. "What an amateur!" 

"So what do we do with them?" Roulette asked indicating Jamie and Bazooka.

"Well, I suppose we can take the brat back to the boss," Jetstream said. "He is a mutant after all. The Joe…well that's another story." 

"Understood," Tarot held another card. "SPEAR CARD!"

"NO!" Jamie's eyes went wide as the spear went straight for Bazooka. 

Suddenly Howie threw off the net with a roar. He grabbed the spear with his teeth just in time. The spear disintegrated. Howie then bit through the rope. It disintegrated as well. "Thanks Howie!" Bazooka said.

"They're getting away!" Jetstream snapped.

"Lucky break," Roulette snapped. Black energy disks flew from her hands. "But their luck is about to change!" 

All around them the disks collided with the trees and caused them to fall. Jamie and Bazooka barely dodged them. "She's got hex bolts just like Wanda!" Bazooka gasped.

"Not exactly," Roulette charged at them. "I have much more control than she does for starters." She sent out more energy disks at them. 

"MULTIPLE RUN!" Bazooka ordered. "Of all the times to be without my bazooka!" He tried to call for help on his radio but one of Roulette's disks shattered it out of his hand. 

"Not that it will do you any good any wayyyyyyyyyyy!" Roulette shouted as Howie used his tail to make a huge wave and drench her with water. "My hair!" 

"Okay how about this card?" Tarot grabbed one from her deck.

"Oh no you don't!" Jamie shouted. He charged her and made five copies of himself. He tackled her and kept her from using her powers.

"Let go of me you little…" Tarot shouted. "HEY WATCH YOUR HANDS YOU LITTLE PERVERT!" 

Meanwhile Jetstream flew off and grabbed Bazooka from behind. "Put me down!" Bazooka shouted as Jetstream flew off with him.

"Gladly," Jetstream snickered. "Have a bath!" He dropped him over the lake. Fortunately Howie managed to swim under him and pick him up. 

"Boy Howie you really are a hero," Bazooka gasped. "We should make you an honorary Joe! Come on! We gotta get Jamie!" 

"Get him off! Get him off!" Tarot screamed as Jamie hung on. Jamie saw Howie and let go, scattering her cards everywhere. "My cards!" Tarot went to pick them up as Jamie managed to jump on Howie's back. Howie created another tidal wave with his tail that drenched both Jetstream and Roulette. 

"Let's get outta here!" Bazooka shouted. "Hi Ho Howie away!" They swam off down the river. 

"HE FELT ME UP!" Tarot shrieked. "THAT STUPID LITTLE KID FELT ME UP! I'LL KILL HIM!" 

"All this fuss over a dumb animal," Roulette sniffed. "Not to mention the lake monster!" 

"This isn't about an animal any more," Jetstream snapped. "Nobody makes fools of the Hellions and lives to tell about it!" 

**I decided to base the cards Tarot has on my own set of tealeaf fortune cards I got on a whim. But she isn't mine anyway. Just my own insane tweaking of the character. Next up, there's a big battle on the horizon as the Misfits and X-Men finally learn about the Hellions! Don't miss it! **


	8. Another Plan Shot to Hell

**Another Plan Shot to Hell**

Later that evening Harvey brought the teams to the lake. "Now I understand there's been some tension between the groups."

"That is the understatement of the year," Monet snarled as she looked at her ruined outfit. It was covered in food stains. "You ruined my outfit!" 

"Oh my mistake," Jean grinned. Her outfit was equally covered in food stains as well.

"Yes I understand how cathartic food fights can be," Harvey sighed. "But you should all make a better effort to be friends and understand each other."

"Yeah right," Monet snapped. 

"You know since you and Jean both have telepathic abilities I thought that the two of you would at least be…" Harvey started to say.

"WHAT?" Jean yelled. 

"Thanks a lot butterball…" Monet grumbled underneath her breath. 

"Wait are you telling me that these guys are mutants too?" Fred asked. 

"Why yes," Harvey said. "I thought you guys knew that?" 

"No we didn't," Ray growled. 

"Well see you all have a lot in common," Harvey was getting uncomfortable with the glares the Hellions were sending him. "Now maybe we can all get along?"

"GUYS! SCOTT! JEAN! HELP!" Jamie's voice rang out through the woods.

"Now what?" Scott moaned. To his shock Jamie and Bazooka were riding on the back of a huge sea serpent. "Well that's something you don't see everyday!"

"Guys help!" Jamie shouted. "They wanna hurt Howie!"

"Howie?" Scott blinked at the huge sea monster. Then he saw Jetstream fly in and Tarot and Roulette run in as well. "Who are these guys?"

"Jetstream! Tarot! Roulette!" Monet snapped. "You were supposed to capture the creature!"

"We tried!" Tarot snapped. "But they got in the way!"

"Well then let's remove them, Hellion style!" Jack growled as he powered up. He shot out an electric bolt at them. 

Ray dove in front and absorbed the blast. "Hey you have the same powers I do!" Ray gasped. 

"We may have the same powers, but I am an entirely different class than you are sewer rat!" Jack snarled. 

"Well then if you're mutants then there's no point in holding back now is there?" Lance snapped.

"Bring it on!" Manuel said. 

"Hellions get that animal and destroy those fools!" Monet flew into the air. 

"X-Men! Defend the lake serpent!" Scott shouted.

"Misfits get ready to rock the place!" Lance shouted.

"Oh dear…" Harvey gulped. 


	9. One Major Mutant Brawl Coming Up

**One Major Mutant Brawl Coming Up!**

The mutants then started to attack each other. Monet led the charge flying straight at Jean. Jean flew towards her and attempted to use a psychic blast to down her. "She's blocking me!" Jean shouted. "She has telepathic powers too!"

"Very observant," Monet snickered as she tried to blast Jean with her own psychic blast. But Jean held her own. "Okay so we'll have to do this the hard way." She made a fist.

"Fine with me!" Jean flew towards her and hit her in the face. "OW!" She held her hand.

"That the best you got girlfriend?" Monet grinned as she gave Jean a punch that sent her flying. 

"Come on Pikachu!" Ray snapped at Jack. "Come and get me!"

"DON'T CALL ME PIKACHU!" Jack shouted as he threw a bolt at him.

"What's a matter Pikachu?" Ray snapped. "I thought you found that name funny? Not so funny when it fits you huh Pikachu?"

"SHUT UP!" Jack sent a blast at him. It blew up a tree instead. 

"Forget him Bevatron!" Jetstream flew around "Get the others!" 

"I got your back!" Roulette shouted as she sent out the energy disks at Ray. 

Scott and Lance started to use their powers on the Hellions when suddenly they felt very strange. "Hey get out of my way Avalanche!" Scott shouted.

"You get out of my way!" Lance snapped. "I'm taking these creeps down!" 

"Oh no you don't!" Scott blasted Lance.

"Why you…!" Lance growled and sent a tremor at Scott. Both started to fight each other. 

"Why are you idiots fighting each other?" Tabitha shouted. "They're the enemy!"

"You got that right you bleach blonde bimbo," Tarot grinned as she brought out her cards. 

"Watch out for her!" Jamie warned. "She's got a real dangerous power!" 

"What's she gonna do?" Tabitha snapped. "Read our fortune?" 

"That's right," Tarot held up a card. "And yours looks extremely dim. LIGHTNING CARD!" 

"Lightning?" Pietro gulped. "Yikes!" He and Tabitha barely dodged a blast. "Missed me!" 

"Oh yeah? HAT CARD!" Tarot shouted. As she spoke a hat materialized and fell forcefully on Pietro's head. 

"I can't see!" Pietro tried to tug it off. 

"Watch out!" Jamie shouted. "Whatever card she picks she can make it come to life!"

"No really?" Pietro snapped as he tried to get the hat off his head. "Somebody help me here!" 

"Once again it's up to me," Wanda grumbled as she prepared to hex the hat off him.

"Oh no you don't! YOKE CARD!" Tarot shouted. Instantly a yoke materialized and appeared on Wanda, making her unable to move her hands effectively. 

"Get me out of this thing!" Wanda snapped as she randomly hexed objects around her while trying to get it off. 

"Yikes!" Harvey yelled as he tried not to get hit by debris. Bazooka grabbed him and pulled him out of the line of fire. "Well really now!" 

Meanwhile Fred and Beef were duking it out. Fred gave Beef an uppercut that sent him to the ground. "You're not half as tough as you look," Fred grinned. "And that's not saying very much!" Beef tried to get up, but Fred body-slammed him into a wall of a cabin. 

"Once again Beef blows it," Jack laughed. "Figures, he's the only one of us not able to hold his own against these losers!" 

"Shut up!" Beef snapped. "I was doing fine until Fatso shoved me with that underhanded move!" 

"Excuses, excuses," Jack shook his head as he shot off another electric blast. He fried Fred. 

Meanwhile Xi had managed to free Wanda from the yoke and Pietro had gotten out of the hat. "This is not good," Xi remarked.

A tremor shook the ground. "Come and get me Rocktumbler!" Scott shouted.

"Bring it on one-eye!" Lance shouted back. 

"Why are they fighting each other?" Wanda shouted. "I don't get it!"

Xi looked around and saw Manuel with his hands to his head. "I do! Wanda! He's doing it!" 

"Not any more!" Wanda used her hex bolts to zap Manuel. Instantly Scott and Lance stopped fighting each other.

"What were we doing?" Scott groaned as he put his hand to his head.

"All I remember is that I got so angry at you," Lance grumbled. "Not that it's unusual but…"

"It must have been that mutant," Xi pointed out as he ran up to them. "He must have been controlling your emotions." 

"That's why they call me Empath!" Manuel got to his feet. "Now how about a bit of panic!" He sent out a panic attack wave to them. They barely managed to hang on. 

"Oh no you don't!" Tabitha created some time bombs. 

"FRYING PAN CARD!" Tarot shouted as she held up her card and used her powers.

"Frying pan?" Tabitha asked. "What good can a frying pan do in battle?" 

"This for starters!" Tarot shouted as she used it to knock Tabitha's time bombs back at her. "And this is a handy trick as well!" She swung it at Tabitha and it hit her in the shoulder. 

"Yeow!" Tabitha shouted. "Somebody get that reject from 'Cardcaptors'!" 

"Reject huh? ARROW CARD!" Tarot shouted as dozens of arrows appeared from the card and attacked them. 

"SOMEBODY GET THOSE CARDS AWAY FROM THAT LUNATIC!" Scott shouted as he barely dodged the arrows. He sent off an eye beam but Tarot already had another card out.

"SHEILD CARD!" She shouted as a huge shield appeared in front of her and blocked Scott's eye blast. 

"Scott we can't beat them!" Ray shouted, clearly affected by Empathy's power. "They're too powerful!" 

"No they're not!" Jean shouted. "We have to control our emotions! We can't let them win!" 

"You can't win," Monet snarled. "You've already lost!" She grinned as Jetstream knocked down both Lance and Scott. Suddenly a loud roar resounded. "What was that racket?" 

"What is that?" Scott yelled as a huge figure loomed in on them. It was a larger lake serpent.

"It's another Lake Serpent!" Harvey shouted. "How exciting!" 

"It's gotta be Howie's Mom!" Jamie squealed excitedly. 

"Mom?" Jack gulped. The creature roared. "This is not good." 

"Just fry it you moron!" Monet shouted. 

Jack did so. However the creature didn't seem to be phased by his lightening bolts. "This really isn't good," Jack gulped. The creature roared and knocked Monet out of the sky with it's tail. "This definitely is not good!" Then it made a mini tidal wave along with Howie and drenched the Hellions. 

"The tide of battle is definitely not in our favor," Manuel said.

"No ya think?" Jetstream snapped at him. 

"So they got another giant lizard on their side!" Monet snapped. "Tarot just keep those cards coming! See if you can use that lighting card again on the X-Men and Misfits!" 

"You know I can't!" Tarot snapped. "I can only use each card only once in battle!"

"Well then use another card!" Monet snapped. "A fire card! A sword card! Anything!" 

"Uh Tarot, do you have a spaceship card?" Jack asked nervously.

"No of course I don't! Why?" Tarot asked. Then she looked up. "Oh my…" 

A familiar spacecraft started to fire on the Hellions who scattered. "What the…?" Scott's jaw dropped.

"It can't be!" Lance gasped. 

"Hi guys!" Todd waved cheerfully from an open window. "Mind if we join the party?" 


	10. Some People Just Don't Deserve Nice Stat...

**Some People Just Don't Deserve Nice Stationery**

"YEOW!" Beef shouted. "Those lasers hurt!" He was dodging the lasers of the spaceship.

"Look out! More reinforcements!" Jack pointed to the X-Men's Velocity coming in for a landing. 

"Let's get out of here!" Jetstream shouted. 

"Come back here you cowards!" Monet shouted.

"There's nothing we can do M!" Manuel told her. "We're outgunned and outnumbered!"

"Fine, but remember this X-Men and Misfits," Monet snapped as she flew away. "You have not seen the last of the Hellions!" 

"All right!" Jamie said excitedly. "We beat the bad guys and saved the day!" 

"Good thing we were in the neighborhood," Althea nodded. Todd, Amanda and Kurt were with her. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Tabitha asked Xavier and Hawk. Logan and Ororo were with them as well. 

"We detected trouble with Cerebro," Xavier explained. "Fortunately for you we were already using it to look for these four."

"Uh…" Todd gulped nervously. "Really? What makes you think that we were causing trouble?" 

"Oh I don't know, maybe the evening news?" Logan asked sarcastically.

"Oh boy," Todd gulped. 

"Is everyone okay?" Scott asked.

"Yeah nothing a few weeks in the intensive care unit can't cure," Ray grumbled. 

"Okay what's with the lizards?" Logan asked pointing to the giant reptiles. 

"This is Howie and his mom," Jamie explained. "Those guys were trying to capture Howie but we stopped them and we saved the camp!"

"What's left of it," Xavier sighed as he looked at the destruction. 

"Well I will tell you one thing," Harvey huffed. "I intend to write a scathing letter to Ms. Frost at the Massachusetts Academy! And believe you me she is definitely not getting the floral stationary!" 

"Wait a minute," Scott asked. "Ms. Frost? As in Emma Frost? She's in charge of those students?" 

"Yes, you know her?" Harvey asked.

"Unfortunately," Logan sighed. "Charles did you know about this?"

"I suspected that Frost had her own charges but I certainly did not expect to find them at the same campsite," Xavier sighed. "Or that we'd come in contact with them so soon." 

"Are you telling us that there's **_another_** team of mutants that wants to fight us and you never told us about it?" Kurt asked. "Wonderful!" 

"Yeah as if Magneto's gang and the Misfits weren't bad enough," Kitty groaned. 

"Well look at the bright side," Todd said. "At least Cyke and the others worked through their rage problems."

"Having them trash the camp was not quite what I had in mind," Xavier sighed.

"Well most of it wasn't their fault," Harvey said. "I mean they were trying to defend these poor gentle creatures." He started to pet Howie. "Did those bad mutants try to hurt you? Poor little thing." 

"If that's a little thing, I'd hate to see a big thing," Pietro remarked. 

"This guy isn't freaked by all this?" Logan asked.

"He's a friend of ours," Hawk said.

"Well that explains it," Logan sighed. 

"What about Howie?" Jamie asked. 

"Oh don't worry," Harvey explained. "This is a national park. Hunting's not allowed here and I'm sure the Joes can check up on them from time to time. And I'm sure that the rest of the counselors here wouldn't mind…"

He turned around and saw all the counselors screaming and running to their cars.

"Gee you think they'd have never seen lake monsters and a spaceship before," Harvey scratched his head. 

"Professor can we go home now?" Ray asked.

"I think that might not be a bad idea," Xavier sighed. "Staying here might be rather pointless." 

"Some help this was," Wanda grumbled. "We ended up fighting as usual." 

"Let's face it guys this new age stuff is a load of hooey for us mutants," Fred told her. "We relieve stress and solve problems the old fashioned way."

"You mean fighting and blowing everything up in sight?" Jean asked. "Fred that's…"

"Hold on Jean," Scott stopped her. "Maybe he's onto something." 

"I think maybe I need to go away for a retreat at this rate," Xavier groaned. 


End file.
